The Night Before....

So it is 11:30 pm and Josh is cutting up an apple for me to eat as my last meal so to speak (since I cant eat after midnight) before I have my c-section tomorrow at 12:30. We had a really big supper at Hidalgoes so Im really not that hungry, but I am making myself eat something since I wont get breakfast in the morning.



I have been an emotional wreck the past few days everytime I look at Maddie! I keep thinking things will never be the same again, and I love her so much!! I know she's not going anywhere and that I will still get to do all the things with her that I do now, but it still seems like an end to something that is the most incredible thing EVER! I just can't quit thinking about how this will affect her, and worrying that she will get left out or feel jealous.



The good thing is right now I am so worried about Maddie that I dont have time to process that I will be in surgery in about 12 hours. Im not nervous yet, more curious as to how it will all work out. Everything happened with Maddie so fast I do not remember all the things we did or the order that they happened in. It will be strange to walk into the hospital at 10:30 and say Im here for surgery!



On a good note, I am excited at the same time to see Maddie help with Kenzie and see her be a big sister. I also am ready to see Kenzie's little face and see if she looks like me, or Josh.



As of my last appointment I had still only gained 7 pounds total~! Thats just nuts....I had gained 29 pounds over my pregnancy with Maddie. I also started out weighing less with Maddie too though. My blood pressure was good I guess and Kenzies heart beat was pretty fast. He said she was really happy, lol.



Since I got home today I have started packing, and I am having a hard time packing and deciding what to take. I mine as well be a 1st timer! Maddies bags are packed and she will stay with Lacy Wednesday night and my parents on Thursday night while we are at the hospital. If everything goes as planned we should be home by Friday.



My house isnt as perfect as I had imagined, but Josh and I have really done alot in the past week to get it presentable. (Josh more than myself) People will just have to take into consideration that I worked until the day before Kenzie was born and that makes it hard to come home and keep a spotless house, especially with a 2 1/2 year old.

So I just finished my apple w/ caramel with 2 minutes to spare before I am cut off. :)


I suppose I better get finished packing so I can go to sleep. Please keep Kenzie and I in your prayers around 12 o'clock tomorrow afternoon that I have a safe delivery and she is a healthy baby.

Goodnight and God Bless!!